It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
