She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
