ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Randomize
