did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
My penis needs a shock collar
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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