the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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