what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
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