He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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