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Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
