The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
