you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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