Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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