Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
