So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
