I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize