Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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