Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
