I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
