I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
