I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Randomize
