if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
