well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
