she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
