What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize