Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
How's work?
Spinning.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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