it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
