i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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