She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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