I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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