Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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