I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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