Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
