This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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