i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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