So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
