I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
