i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
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