Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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