mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Randomize
