i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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