I think i peed on brittanys purse
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
