i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize