It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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