thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
