tell your sister to shave her snatch
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
