They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
We just shotgunned beers for America
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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