I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
her vagine was all disorganized.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
