He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
