so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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