Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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