Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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