and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
