OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
