they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
