4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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