i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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