did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
