So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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