Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
